Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
