there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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