I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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