he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
