You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
