Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
