Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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