You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
