If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
