dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
