So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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