He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
