Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
