I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
