whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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