god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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