I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
