Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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