hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
