The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
