I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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