do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
