shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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