i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
