i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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