yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
