fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
