similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
