so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
