I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
