Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
