hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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