I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you traded sex for a burrito?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We are two peas in an std pod
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm both gender and math confused
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
