My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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