you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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