hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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