i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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