I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize