Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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