it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I'm having to shit out rocks
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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