anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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