you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
