its not stalking. its research.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
