Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
