Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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