He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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