If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Randomize
