I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
