Walk of Shame. In a state park.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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