where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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