...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
its not stalking. its research.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
