I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
