The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
