I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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