she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm at about main and main street
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
